A perfect exit

I was at a protected waterway near dusk, observing multiple kinds of wildlife.

A pair of Canada geese were browsing nearby.

A car came up behind mine, shining bright lights directly on the geese, turned up its beams and began honking repeatedly, madly: clearly trying to drive the two away. I kept my eyes on the pair of geese.

They ambled across the short way to where they chose to enter the water. Approximately two feet from water launch, they both stopped.

One turned its backside so its tail was directly toward the honking car and, for the first time during my observation, deliberately waggled its tail end. The other simply looked at the honking car. After the lengthy tail waggling episode finished, the two waddled easily to the water and leisurely swam off. The car driver stopped honking, backed up and went away.

A few minutes after the human honker left, the pair popped back on the bank in an area not visible to the car entrance, and continued feeding.

One for wildlife, zero for the inappropriate (and apparently inbred) human honker; scientist/naturalist given bonus entertainment.

Which goes to prove yet again: it isn’t usually the loudest honker which makes the most memorable statement.

Primary workaround factor

In business, more workarounds happen due to rampant personal positioning than systemic mechanism issues.

Mitigate personal positioning and see your business thrive.

Gap moment management

Strong emotional intelligence skill includes an ability to end things well for all involved.
Professionally and personally, strive for that. It tends to get easier with regular practice.

In today’s interconnected world: we just don’t know how, when or where connection could reappear. Few are the degrees that separate all of us.

Take it for granted an ending is simply you standing in a gap moment before another interconnection.

More about self trust

Someone I mentor said “I trust myself. I just don’t trust anyone else.”

I know enough about him to simply look at him and say: routinely suspecting the worst from others simply because they’re not just like you or unlike your preferred version of them stems from lack of self trust. The kind of self trust that says “I’m fine. I can handle what comes to me. I can let you be who you are. Doesn’t mean I necessarily agree with you, yet I can let you be who you are. I control me, I don’t need to try to control you.”

He got quiet. We moved on to a lighter, hows-the-weather topic, letting the exchange sink in.

(This can be learned. At some future point, this kind of self trust will likely become more common.)


Good reason

I’m a conscious swearer.

I didn’t swear at all until the age of 27. Literally. No swearing, period. (And no one swore around me: friends guarded against it.)
I thought about it and told some of my close circle I was going to try on the concept of swearing, for 5 years.
I swore. Not indiscriminately, carefully, paying attention. No firing without good reason.
At age 32, I talked with those friends again and shared my experience.
At the time, I appreciated Anthony de Mello’s comment ‘there are times when profanity provides relief that prayer doesn’t.’  It goes beyond that, for me.

I swear when backing off a predator. Backing one off me or those I care about.
I swear for punctuation in a situation where the person in front of me is theoretically listening yet is clearly elsewhere, asleep, or holding ‘space for rent’ inside their skull. Swearing jars that kind back to present times.
I swear at times to inform someone the context they’re projecting is harmful to me (may be predator, may be clueless … either of the above).
I swear because I’m feeling vulnerable in the presence of someone who it’s unclear yet whether they’re predator or not (see above): while I’m courageously paying attention.
I swear, at rare times, as an obvious part of joking or tame word play (ala. ‘dam/damn’).
I don’t swear much at all … nearly unnecessary in the circles inside the outstanding life I designed for myself.

Swearing is for me simply a tool.
I don’t swear AT people: I don’t use swear words as naming or blaming.
I don’t use strings of swear words. A single word gets the job done.
In my world, swearing is not a hammer which seeks to make everything a nail. There’s no natural ‘draw’ toward it.
My vocabulary is substantial and I’m highly emotionally intelligent. I don’t use swearing because I can’t think of another word to use.
A close friend commented that since they know I’ve already delivered the best negotiation possible, hearing swearing from me is like hearing Queen Susan of Narnia’s horn, a rallying bugle call to instant alert, beckoning them to run to stand with me, side by side, for my cause if I needed backup.

I’ve trained myself in self esteem. I would not accept easily the mistake of swearing, firing, without good reason.